"Midnight stars collide as I fall asleep with hearts in my eyes, the thought of you and I swept me away to places I could only dream of. I had wished and hoped so hard that you would be the one thing I could finally count on, the only thing in my life that has yet to disappoint all my expectations of love; true love. Life can be so randomly beautiful; you never know what may happen. Maybe not knowing where you’re headed is the exciting part. The natural flow of life knocks people off of their structured lives into a whirlwind of chaos and uncertainty. That is how I felt as he casually passed through that ordinary afternoon, as if he hadn’t known that he automatically changed my life once in view. Love at first sight is often cured by a second glance, which is why my antidote never came into effect. My vision became focused on his soft eyes and warm aura that collected around him as if he just ascended from the heavens. Love isn’t something that can be explained. It is something that takes courage and strength. Finding the right person isn’t guaranteed, which is why regret letting him slip through the crowd into the distance. Every night I lay awake, starring out the window up at the stars hiding away. Every time I see a shooting star I close my eyes and imagine your face, wondering what I did to create this gap between our hearts. As dawn looms in the air and the red glow is painted across the sky, I envision our fingertips intertwined with no intentions of ever letting go, never feeling the urge to label what we share. No one needs to know how we feel, it can be out secret, we know that our love is genuine. Suddenly, I find myself slowly making my way to the street where you strolled passed, in hopes to see you standing there with open arms, ready to start the beginning of forever. I planted my feet at the edge of the sidewalk, combing the mob of unfamiliar faces, holding tightly to their hats so they won’t blow away in the autumn breeze. As I inhale the exhausts from the speeding cars I see a page from the local newspaper glide through the air. I reach out and pull it towards me. Suddenly I feel a cold chill rush down my spine, and a familiar tingle fill my lungs that empties my heart as I read the headline. Hopeless, empty, and shattered, you have slipped away. I am desperate to be near you, to hear you breathe for just one more moment. I need you here, not just in my heart. On the verge of stumbling back home to seclude myself into an artificial night, I turn to the intersection. You have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really meant to you, and he was everything. Good things end so better things can fall into place, and when I lost my balance and fell in love, I found myself alone, six feet under the soil as you reside in the clouds touring over my head. Midnight stars fade as I am put to rest; shutting my eyes the thought of being with out you has hauled me away to places I’ve only experienced in my nightmares."
It's safe to say that I'm much better of than I was when I wrote this a year and a half ago.
Time saved my life.
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